Back to the beginning

I've put weight on.

I have brilliant will power. I mean seriously, if I say to myself I'm not going to do something then I don't do it. Take Coffee and Alcohol as an example. When I changed my religion and became a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I stopped drinking Coffee and Alcohol without a second thought. I stopped eating ice cream because I knew it was a weakness of mine and when I was about sixteen my Mum says that I stopped eating crisps and chocolate although I'm pretty sure I blocked that one out of my memory.

It's not that I get bored. I mean how can anyone get bored eating a wide range of fruit and veggies? I love Salad and there are hundreds of ways to eat and prepare it and I've talked to a nutritionist so often I know that the meals that I prepare are balanced and within the right calorific intake for the family.

So it's not boredom, it's not lack of will power, it's more like I get comfortable.

I forget that I need to exercise more and eat less. I forget that what goes in has to be used by my body or I put on weight and it's not even just a little bit of weight. It's normally what I lost and then some.

So I'm back at the beginning of my losing weight journey.

This time I know that I shouldn't throw myself in to exercise as much as I did, because if I do I can't keep it up and will punish myself. This time I'm stronger and more able to understand not only my voices (in my head) but also my body, my diet and my own pace.

I know that this time I'm not going to lose all the weight magically overnight, I mean I knew it before but I was still hoping, this time I need to do a lot of work, and I know it.

So this time I'm ready for it.

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