When I Was Fifteen

Nicki over at Curly and Candid has been baring all about when she was 15. She asked for stories about when others were 15, I don't really remember a lot about that age, I think I've blocked them all. It was before I went through a rebellion and turned into what I could only describe as now as a "troubled child" but I remember a few things.

I remember being lonely as I stopped hanging around with one group of friends and didn't have another group to belong to.

I remember that I didn't need ID to buy cigarettes or alcohol and so was the one everyone always asked to buy it for them.

I remember thinking that my life was crap and that there was no point to it all.

I remember thinking I knew it all.

I remember being skinny.

I do remember.

I wish I could go back to the me of then and let me know that things turn out okay. That the friends I thought I needed I didn't, new ones would come. Ones that would text me when I was sad, ones that would invite me to their weddings, ones that would be special and wouldn't understand just how special they are.

I wish that I could go back and say, look life is sometimes a bit shit but if you didn't have these bad times how would you ever know the highs of the good?

I don't really wish I could change anything, if I did then I wouldn't be me and despite all my flaws I'm rather lovely. There is nobody else just like me.

I guess to sum it up Justin Bieber was born the year I turned 15. That says it all really doesn't it?


  1. In short, what a blumming good post. I think with hindsight I will now call the teenage years the bubble years as you are so enclosed and can't see past the end of the week, let alone the scary looming adulthood.
    We did know everything though, even back then :)

    1. I've always known everything... well apart from the Justin Bieber thing. I had to look that up.

    2. And aren't you glad you did?

    3. I now know my life is complete.

  2. I have the same general feelings about being 15 and my brain only recalls obscure events probably for the same reason as yours. The psyche is a powerful thing. Telling my past myself things could get better with age would have gotten a "duh, I'm not going to let my life be this crappy for much longer," from my know-it-all teenage self.

  3. You hit the nail on the head there, with your words today: "if you didn't have these bad times how would you ever know the highs of the good?". Teens have a most difficult time adjusting from a young one to adulthood. It's all for the good of their inner being, I think.


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